O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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