we have pet lesbian snakes
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
