I need help removing her.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It was a blind-side dick pic.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
