6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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