bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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