cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
