If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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