You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
