i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
