i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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