i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
