Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
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Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
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WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I got inside last night via doggy door
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
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