I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
