So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
