wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
