My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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