So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
