would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He better not be in your backpack
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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