Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
