PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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