Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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