Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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