true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pants incapable of making pants work
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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