Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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