I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
