took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I accidentally burped into my bong.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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