Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
