At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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