I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
