Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
