we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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