Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
