It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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