That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
