I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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