Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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