Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize