A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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