the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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