If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
