If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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