Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
