let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize