The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
