yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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