If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize