Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
