I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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