I want to stick my p in your. b.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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