I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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