This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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