**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
fuck your aforementioned shoe
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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