All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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