That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
