How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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