in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My ATM looks so different sober.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
