It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
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they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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