isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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