Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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