Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
