i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize